Reader’s Letter: Premarital Sex – Positives and Negatives

POSTED: 05/24/11 1:25 PM

Dear Editor,

“Is it ok to have premarital sex?” That is a common question among teens and engaged couples. Perhaps you are in a relationship that is progressing in that direction, but you’re not sure what to do. In your mind, you are probably weighing the pros and cons of premarital sex. On the positive side of the scale, there is acceptance from your peers, hope for pleasure, and the fulfillment of sexual desires. The negative side of the scale carries the weights of morals, fear of pregnancy or disease, and guilt. How do these scales balance? What is the right decision? Let’s take a look at some of the facts.

God created the sex act for a man and woman within a marriage. Besides being pleasurable, sex is meant to be a spiritual experience that extends past the marriage bed into the everyday life of a married couple. It is not just setting up house together. The sex act locks the couple together in the purpose that God has set before them. The couple opens up emotionally to each other through the marriage act, which solidifies the continuing unity of the couple in living their lives for God. God intended for sex to help couples work out indifferences between them, along with the need to procreate.
Rarely does a premarital sexual relationship stay together long enough to make it to marriage vows. People engaging in this activity will experience the heart rending emotional upset that comes with breaking up. And when people experience multiple breakups, it numbs them to a marriage commitment of “until death do us part.” They have conditioned themselves to run, instead of working out the problems that arise within marriages. Divorce statistics are higher when the couple engaged in premarital sex or lived together before deciding to marry.
The teenage years constitute a normal rise and fall of emotional hormones. Adding sexual activity to their curriculum compounds this process of becoming fully adjusted young adults with properly balanced emotions, physique, and spirituality. Peer pressure to have sex before marriage creates a need to make decisions pertaining to problem solving. Statistic rates are high in being emotionally/physically/sexually abused within their premarital sex relationships. Without a good family support system in place, a teen could easily make unwise problem solving decisions and slump into a state of depression that would cause the teen to consider suicide. If you or your child is struggling with sexual addiction, consult a local Christian counselor or a leader in your church.
When people choose to participate in premarital sexual activity, they will take virus, fungi, bacteria, yeast, spores, or parasitic contamination into the marriage bed once they decide to commit to one partner. Saving oneself for marriage keeps the marriage bed pure from the attack of the germ world. Premarital Sex – Is it Safe physically and emotionally?
Another consideration when deciding about premarital sex is safety. Did you know that 50% of the people who currently have HIV are between the ages of 15 and 24? Using a condom only reduces the risk of contracting HIV by 85%. Condoms do not significantly reduce the risk of contracting other sexually transmitted diseases. Take these statistics into consideration when making your decision.
Most people don’t consider the emotional effects of premarital sex. You see, sex is an emotional experience and it affects our lives in ways we don’t understand. After engaging in premarital sex, many people express feelings of guilt, embarrassment, distrust, resentment, lack of respect, tension, and so much more. As you read the next section, consider God’s love for you as a primary reason for sexual purity. God does not want you to experience unnecessary emotional pain! God does not limit sex to married couples to rob pleasure from those who are unmarried. Rather, God commands against premarital sex in order to protect unmarried people from unwanted pregnancies, from children born to parents who do not want them, and to protect children from parents who are not prepared for them. Imagine, for a moment, a world without premarital sex. There would be no sexually-transmitted diseases, there would be no un-wed mothers, there would be no unwanted pregnancies, there would be no abortions, etc. According to the Bible, abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to premarital sex. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and most importantly, abstinence honors God. Make the wise, right and moral decision.

Michael Peterson


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